My husband finally arrived home from work at 11 P.M. with a streak of mud on his cheek and multiple gashes in his fingers. He slowly dragged his exhausted feet into our home and slouched into our kitchen chair; head in hands. Needless to say, he had a rough day.
I didn’t know what to do. My husband is usually the one who brings the joyful mood into our home. When he arrives home, he usually greets me with a bright smile and kiss. However, this day was not one of those days.
My first instant was to start talking. I thought, maybe, just maybe my excessive chatter would cheer him up. It may come as a shock, but I am not a very good “surface” chatter. I never understood the point of fluffy chatter until this very moment. I knew my deep and heavy conversation (with myself) was spiraling my husband into a deep pit overwhelmed exhaustion. So I stopped talking.
The silence grew so heavy in our home that I could almost feel it. I usually welcome peace and quiet with a happy heart but this time I wished I could run away from it. There was an urge in my heart to retreat to our bedroom and leave my husband to sit in the uncomfortable silence by himself. Instead, however, I stood next to him with a prayer on my lips. That was when I noticed that his hair still had a faint smell of the cologne he put on that morning. I love that cologne….
And then that small memory triggered a great idea I heard on the God Centered Mom Podcast.
He feels exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed, and like a work-mule. It was time for me to step up and give him the womanly gift that God has blessed me (and our marriage) with.
I have the ability and sexual power to love my husband during a time where he feels discouraged. In fact, I have the ability to give my husband the opportunity to feel like the man God has created to be! Coming together physically helps to give my husband the confidence back that he needs to face the world.
As wives, we have the sexual power to remind our husbands who they are in a loving, comforting atmosphere. We have a God-given powerful and we can be a great gift to our husbands. We can heal, encourage, inspire confidence, and comfort our husbands like no one else can.
Sexual power is a God-made weapon against the enemy.
(Besides the fact that the act of having sex releases a chemical in our brain called dopamine. Dopamine is our reward/pleasure chemical which is released during sex and other thrilling experiences.)
As you probably already know, sex connects a married couple. It’s one of the major components that separates my husband and I from our friends and relatives — we share a bond that is strictly between the two of us. Coming together physically acted as a way to comfort his discouraged heart and strengthen that bond.
More than that, God made man and woman in His image (Genesis 1:27). As said by Francie Winslow, “He stamped His very nature on our bodies. When a married couple comes together physically, an invitation is made clear that humanity is invited to be one with God.”
When we have this oneness in our marriage, it impacts many other areas in our life.
At first my husband told me he was just, “not in the mood”. His disappointment, his weariness, and his feeling of failure overtook him. I shook off the hurt of being rejected and tried again. I knew how important coming together would be for our marriage and his self-esteem.
That second advance did the trick! Afterward we laid in bed and he told me — in comfort — the troubles that he faced that day. My husband also gained a little light as to how he was going to face his troubling situation.
Of course this positive result from having sex does not happen every time. In fact, it has rarely had an impact on my marriage like this before! In the past I had often gave in to the temptation of leaving my husband be during times like this. This is simply the result of following Francie Winslow‘s wisdom and remembering to seek God’s guidance before reacting.
If you aren’t familiar with Francie, click the link above to visit her site! She a beautiful Christian speaker who talks about sex in a biblical perspective and how to handle tough situations. Every time I listen to her speak I come away with something new to ponder and try!
Looking for a great book on God, marriage, and sex? I’ll list a couple below!
- A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God’s Gift of Sexual Intimacy
- You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity (my favorite)
- The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun)
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts ( my other favorite: as mentioned in Sex in a Christian Marriage )
- Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
- For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men
- For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above may be “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255