As my daughters get older I’ve been thinking about the messages I’m sending and self-love always comes to
mind. The last thing I want is for them to be insecure or think they aren’t good enough. There are so many
negative body image messages everywhere we look. The last thing I want is to have those negative messages
in my own home. I’ve often caught myself looking in the mirror, pinching my stomach, having a negative
dialogue with myself, cursing the thick scar on my stomach from C-sections, and only seeing the flaws.
In those seasons, of self loathing I often tell myself “If only I didn’t have this thick scar I would be happy” or “If
only I lose 5 more pounds then I will be exactly where I want to be.” Obviously, I can’t get rid of the scar and, to
be honest, I think I’d miss it because of the beauty it represents. And if I did lose 5 pounds I still wouldn’t be
happy. You may be saying, that’s so not true. If I finally lost the baby weight or could fit into my jeans again,
then I’d truly be happy.
This mindset is robbing your joy
Friend, if you aren’t happy now. What makes you think you will be happy when you lose 5, 10, or 15 pounds?
I know this isn’t true because even at my lowest weight, I wasn’t satisfied. I still often asked my husband, “do
you think I’m fat?” I was running marathons at the time and I was lean and strong with low body fat percentage.
But I still complained about being fat. Someone please slap me now! I am a bit embarrassed to even admit this
to you but I want to prove my point. I didn’t love my body then and it has dawned on me that we lose so much
joy when we have the mindset of “if only….then I’ll be happy”.
If you have ever thought those things then I recommend you read “Am I worth anything?”
Learn to love yourself where you are
I must embrace and love the body that ran marathons, carried two babies, is forever scarred from C-sections,
and can chase around two active little girls.
Friend, you must begin to love yourself where you are and the beautiful body you have. Maybe you’re a new
mama and struggling with your postpartum body. Give yourself grace and enjoy what you just birthed. Or
maybe you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of emotional eating and it’s keeping you from losing weight. You must
begin the process of healing and getting to the deeper issues of why you’re emotional eating. Maybe you do
need to lose weight and want to be healthy. I want to be your biggest fan! But you must begin the process of
loving yourself where you’re at and embracing the journey.
What are you telling yourself?
What messages are you telling yourself? Your self-worth is not tied up in your body weight or how fit you are or
how many push ups you can do. We all have a choice to love our bodies exactly like they are and use them to
accomplish amazing things.
Embrace the beautiful body you have, tuck your sweet babies in, go for a walk, and soak up all the wonder and
beauty your body holds. Self love doesn’t involve your weight or what goals you keep falling short of, but a
sense of peace in your soul.
I encourage you to begin to love yourself exactly where you are today. Find the joy and beauty in your life.
Let me ask you:
What messages are you telling yourself? And if you have daughters, what message do you want to share with
I challenge you to answer this question: what do you love about yourself?
Kara and her husband, Noah, live in Iowa with their two little girls, London and Iylee. She is the founder and nutrition expert of Life Well Lived. Kara runs bootcamps that teach women how to lose fat, eat the right foods for their body, and make clean eating a lifestyle that lasts. Kara loves cooking, reading, traveling, and playing Barbies with her two little girls.