“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:24
As you and your husband are racing out the door for work in the morning, you find yourself “bickering” about which route would be the fastest.
“I’m telling you, the fastest route is going through town!” says your husband.
You roll your eyes because you KNOW that even with the morning traffic the Interstate is clearly the quickest, most convenient route.
However, your husband is so persistent (in his usual manly way) that you begin to feel your temper rising. How can he still Map-quest it, see the time arrival difference, and still believe differently? How is this even an argument?
Before you know it you accidentally spit out, “you’re an idiot” without thinking.
Your husband quiets; you can instantly see the hurt in his eyes and you know you messed up. BIG TIME. You won the argument this argument but not without a huge casualty — your husband.
Too often we forget how much our words can hurt — we throw our words around like confetti!
But confetti is much prettier.
Why are we so careless with our words?
For some reason our day in age — our society — is fixated on being the best ME we can be. So, if we aren’t conquering New York (or the world) by the age of 21 then our life is half over. I mean, college is pushed on us like candy and credit cards are used without a blink of an eye. We compensate these things with the lie, “it will pay off” and then we get a huge slap of reality when it doesn’t.
Anyways, the reason for that burp is that I think we have this mentality of, “if someone confronts me then I’m not perfect” — “I have failed in some way”. We have a desire to be perfect and then when we come up short we use words (our quickest weapon) to defend and point blame.
We don’t want the blame on ourselves.
We want to be right — we want to be perfect.
It’s this sinful nature that says WE MUST BE PERFECT. But, I’ll say it before and I’ll say it again, the only perfect being is Jesus.
Continuously the Bible warns us of our deepest, darkest weapon; our tongues.
We can give inspirational speeches, encourage loved ones, spin beautiful toasts, and extend compliments. Our tongues can build families, build relationships, build cities, build COUNTRIES.
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18
And still one sentence, one TINY sentence can destroy an entire relationship.
We can say three words — you’re an idiot” — and completely wreck a person’s self-esteem.
God has given us a powerful, powerful weapon. Speech had the ability to build an enormous tower called Babel. But, this gift of speech quickly turned into a weapon as the people began to talk about building it to reach the Heavens and “make a name for themselves”. What was the result? God confused the languages so that they could no longer communicate and continue in their sin.
Isn’t that crazy?! Something so simple as speech can unite and tear down anything Earthly!
James 1:19 tells us to “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” (NLT).
Why is that?
Because waiting to speak gives us a change to think through the situation. Waiting to speak gives us just enough time to process the information we have been given before we blurt out something extremely hurtful.
If we all practiced the art of being slow to speak, just think of the wars we would be avoiding? What about the families that would be reunited? The marriages that would be rekindled? The friendships that would be mended?
We are only given a certain amount of time on this Earth. That means every day, every breath, and every single word is limited.
This is why I actively choose to use positive words in my day to day life. I know that I have an expiration date and I choose to spend my life uplifting with words of light, hope, and kindness rather than hurt, fear, and anger.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Proverbs 18:21
I also love and respect my husband which results in me valuing our marriage. Our marriage requires commitment and work; it doesn’t come easy. But, I know that throwing hurtful words into the mix will only intensify common marital problems. (Although this does not always come easy to any of us — speaking kindly takes perseverance and WORK.)
Our husbands are hard-working, exhausted, loving men. They deserve every ounce of respect we can give them — especially our kind words.
When we are angry with them we need to remember that…
1) God loves them the way they are
2) Speaking hurtful words will not help the problem in front of us.
We have a choice we can make. We can spend our lives not caring about what we say (swear words included) or we can choose to glorify Christ with how we speak/live.
How will you be living?
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29