You Are Responsible For Your Happiness, Momma

how to be positive -- you are responsible for your own happiness


You are responsible for your happiness, momma.

I’m sorry — but, there’s just no way around it.

You determine how happy you are going to be! You are in control of that happiness meter in your life.

In the end you are the ONLY one who can give your children a happy mother. Yes, God can help — in fact, He will help if you ask. But, he will only give you the tools you need to build that road of happiness; it’s not simply “provided”. We must all work for what we want — happiness included.


how to be positive -- you are responsible for your own happiness


March has been a very trying month for my husband and myself. Things were looking up. My husband and I were approved for an apartment for the first time without cosigners. YAY! We had saved enough money for an apartment deposit in another state. And, were gearing up for my husbands job change.

And then… we lost all of our deposit money we had worked so hard to save — we have no idea where it went. My husband’s car broke down which leaves us to sharing one car. We temporarily moved into my mom’s home and my husband did not pass an important test we needed to start this new job.

I could not — and still can’t — believe how many curve balls have been thrown our way when just a month ago things were beginning to look up!

It’s during these hard times, times where I really just don’t understand what God is doing, where I begin to slip away. It’s during these times where stress is replaced with happiness and blame replaces hope.

After each “incident” I could feel myself fall into the depression pit just a little harder and a little deeper.  Typical questions begin to rise such as, “why did God allow this to happen” and “was this even what we were supposed to do?”

As happiness and hope dwindle away something must replace it which is how fear and worry arrive so quickly — it’s as if they were invited in.

If we do not have hope, what do we have? Hope is our weapon and happiness is our shield. When those two defense mechanisms are gone fear and worry have free access to walk right through our guarded gates.

Life is tough; Jesus never promised us an easy road when we follow Him. What he did promise is that He will always take care of us and provide (Matthew 6:25-34). There are going to be continuous curve balls whether we like it or not; we can’t control that.

BUT, what we can control is how we choose to live and see this world. Are we going to choose to be the continuous negative energy in the room? Are we going to choose to constantly see the bad in our life? Or, are we going to CHOOSE to see the good side. Are we going to be happy despite our hardships?

I have to tell you, yes, it really stinks to lose that money — $800 to be exact. But I would rather lose every penny I own than to bear the idea of losing my family. I have decided that I need to choose happiness because I have a happy, healthy family that needs my positive attention.

I am thankful for the roof over my head. Yes, it’s a little cramped and embarrassing to live with my mom for a time but I am thankful for this family closeness and the short time to save up our money again.

My husband’s test was a real bummer. But, I do know he can take the test again in two weeks. It’s a little nerve-wracking seeing the job positions continually be filled by hardworking men but I choose to remind myself that if God wants us there, He will provide a way regardless of openings or not.

So, I suppose what I am trying to say is that we have this choice to make: the choice of whether or not to be a happy wife and mother. Life is hard — we already know that — but that doesn’t mean we have to fly through this world in a negative manner. There is always good, there is always light, sometimes it just requires us digging a little deeper.

God did not call me to be a worrisome, angry, fearful wife. In fact, those words are not even OF GOD. God has called me to be strong, courageous, beautiful (mentally), and of course happy. He wants His children to be happy just as I want my daughter to be happy.

So what are you going to choose?

Are you going to lead a happy life?

We all have a choice to make — I hope you choose happiness.

Tenesha's signature for The Beauty Within 31

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  1. Awww, I am so sorry to hear that Vander didn’t pass that test 🙁 Oh, that must be so hard for you two! I love your positive attitude though… it is inspiring and encouraging to me. I will be praying for you guys! I pray Vander passes his next exam and that God’s timing would be perfect!

    • Thanks Whitney! We were bummed at first but I am glad he got the the “jitters” out of the way for when he takes his next one. Just as Dory says… “just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” 😉 Eventually it will all work out!

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