How to Overcome Negativity
This is going to be a very random post. It’s late, I’m waiting for my husband, and my blog keeps me company. So, here it goes!
I had a tough childhood.
It wasn’t that my family was terrible; in fact, they are amazing. It wasn’t because I was obese or anything; I was extremely active (for not liking sports).
My childhood was rough because of the bullies I encountered throughout my younger years. It was tough because I tried so hard to fit in, neglecting the attributes that made me, ME. Why was I bullied? I have no clue; except for the fact that I lived in a small town where I didn’t enjoy the norm of sports and drinking.
But, I have a wonderful mom who provided me with many tips, insights, and fantastic scripture to lean on during these type of situations.
I wanted to share with you one tip that has stuck with me for years.
My mom said, “Tenesha, no matter how hard you try not everyone is going to be your friend. There is always going to be someone who doesn’t like what you’re doing. There’s always going to be a bully — even at my age. You need to decide how you’re going to view these problems and handle the situation.”
At the time I was kind of upset when she told me this. I mean, it was discouraging to hear that these type of people will never go away!
However, this advice my mom gave me has –despite my best efforts– stayed true and relevant even now.
Every day we are going to face people who don’t like us, can’t stand what we do, or don’t appreciate what we have to offer.
Every. single. day.
There may even be people who have never met us but have already formed an opinion about us. Crazy, huh?
The same is true with blogging or any type of entrepreneurship. There is always going to be someone that’s loaded with negativity about what you’re doing or not doing.
But we have a choice!
We can choose to dwell on these situations for eternity or we can take comfort in the fact that we just aren’t everyone’s “cup of tea”.
Not everyone likes the same type of music, not everyone likes the same genre of movies, and not everyone likes every type of person.
I look back at my childhood and — even though it consists of negativity at times — I am grateful that God gave me the opportunity to learn how to deal with negativity in a safe, loving home. It would have been much harder for me to learn this lesson in college where I was alone. Or, even now when I am still trying to figure out this adult world.
And you know what?
I have learned that God made us this way for a reason! He skillfully and carefully created each one of us into the people we are today. God doesn’t have regrets and He certainly doesn’t make mistakes.
No one is quite like Tenesha. She is beautiful, creative, and amazing in her own way.
And no one is like YOU. You are beautiful, creative, and amazing in your own way.
We cannot change who we are just because someone doesn’t like something about us! If that were the case, wouldn’t God have made you that way instead?
God created you that way for a reason and a purpose. We are each assigned something to accomplish with the skills that God has blessed us with.
Take at look at chapter 35 (and a couple of chapters before) in Exodus. God had given many people of the Israelite community a skill. This skill was to help take part in creating the materials for the Tabernacle. If everyone were only skilled with wood, there would have been no fine linens woven and vise versa!
Anyways, what I am trying to say is that you should not change who you are to please someone else. The only person you should be concerned about pleasing is God and God alone! It is better to lose followers, friends, and communities to the fact that you chose to be who you are RATHER than change yourself and lose the path God intended of you.
9th grade was an eye opener for me in so many ways.
My sister was diagnosed with Leukemia, I moved to Seattle, and I began High School all in one year.
It was also the year where I began discovering who I was and who I wanted to become. It was the year where I was introduced to Music Therapy; a career path which I did not know existed before. That was the year where I decided to change schools, change hobbies, and make new friends.
I began learning piano again, quit all sports and focused on dance/music. I joined a choir — actually, I was forced by my new school’s principle. (Which, I had no intention of even trying choir because they aren’t considered “cool”)
Because I joined the choir I discovered how much I loved it. This resulted in me being personally nominated to travel through Europe with an elite choir.
- And, because I went to Europe, I met music kids who later became my friends.
- Because these music friends chose to go to the same college I did, I decided to go to music school instead of Psychology.
- And, because I demonstrated the “most improvement ” to Music School, I also received the one scholarship that the piano program offered.
- Because of this scholarship, I was able to attend school with a significantly lower debt and was able to stay longer.
- And, because I stayed longer I also met my future husband Vander — who was also in the music program.
The rest is history.
Call me crazy but I can guarantee you that my life would look much, much different if I had listened to the negativity.
Anyways, maybe I am rambling or maybe you’ll get something out of this very random post; I don’t know. But, this has weighed heavily on my heart lately and I just had to share my journey.