I love Christmas! In fact, I love everything from September to December. By the time September rolls around I am already singing Christmas carols and rounding up decorations. I know, I am crazy! But, the Christmas season is just too fun and too important to only celebrate it for 25 days…. that’s just not enough for me.
Despite the lake of some serious funds, my husband and I are doing pretty well this Christmas season! We already have our “Christmas envelopes” filled and now we can sit back, relax, and spend with one click of a computer button. We have been strictly following THIS budget system that my grandpa taught us and finally we are reeking the benefits.
Anyways, what I am trying to say is that we have saved enough money to not stress this Christmas season. But, even though our money is doing well, there has been something else that has been driving this “momma brain” crazy.
It’s the…. Christmas mommy guilt.
There. I said it!
I have been feeling some major mommy guilt this Christmas season. Why? Well, because even though we have saved the exact amount of money we planned to, I can’t help but still feel inadequate next to the moms who are spending thousands of dollars (compared to my mere $6oo). I could not help but feel guilty as I watch children my daughter’s age be showered with a crazy amount of toys while my daughter will probably be getting…. 5 or so.
Now, my husband and I both agreed that we wanted to practice the “4 or 5 gift giving” method. You know, where your child will get 1 gift they want, 1 they need, 1 that is educational, etc. We see this as a great way to not overwhelm our children with the multitude to which they receive Christmas season. So, I mean, we have a plan.
I still could not help but feel the Christmas mommy guilt.
There is a part of me that seriously wants to give my child everything… literally everything. I would give her the world if I could. And, there was a small part of me that felt like I didn’t measure up as a mom because I could not buy her everything that the other children have. I didn’t want her to feel less important, less loved, less special if I did not buy her the stuff I believed she “needed”.
And there’s the problem!
I often let the greedy Christmas spirit get to my head; partially because I love holidays and another part is because I love giving. Both of which are not bad qualities but if I am not careful they can become bad — like unwanted baggage I feel required to carry.
See the thing is, I am a fantastic mom — imperfect sometimes but fantastic.
God already made it know that…
1) we are made in His image (Genesis 1:27)
2) we are not a mistake (Jeremiah 1:5)
3) we are all equal (Galations 3:28)
No amount of gifts that we buy and money that we spend will ever change those three facts.
Jesus is the light and the goodness that we long for each Christmas season and in our daily lives. As women, it’s so important to lay down deep rooted, strong foundations in our home. Foundations that involve giving, scripture, traditions, and whatever makes our Lord thrive throughout our home. We need to know and be continuously reminded that Jesus is the answer — NOT presents.
Although giving can be a fun, joyful way to celebrate Jesus, it needs to be rooted in biblical truth. Just as Jesus had a spirit of giving, so do we! But, giving without a heart like Jesus’ leads to selfishness and creates an attitude of “more”. .
In fact, sometimes I think the biggest problem with this mommy guilt is ME! I am the one putting this unneeded pressure on myself. My daughter is not sitting next to the tree wondering how many gifts she will get! I have added this unnecessary pressure to be the “perfect” mom which is crazy because I never will be. I get grumpy, I get tired, sometimes I don’t want to cook (all the time), and sometimes I anger quickly. It’s life.
But, even though I am not perfect, Jesus is!
Giving with the heart of Jesus will not only vanish my feeling of guilt which the devil has tried to plant but it will also leave me with a content, happy spirit. Gift giving is not about how many presents are under the tree, it’s about the heart behind it. If we focus on what we don’t have then we will never be content!
So, the key to conquering mommy guilt is by focusing on what you do have, can give, and the truth of Jesus.
I challenge you this Christmas season to conquer this mommy guilt. God doesn’t call us to feel “guilty” over materialistic things. This season is way, way more than Christmas gifts and feeling guilty! Celebrate the true meaning of this season — Jesus –, trust God, and everything else will fall into place
Merry Christmas, mommas!